Friday, June 29, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
The power of the media
I was reading this article, I could not help but notice how these words "if you read the newspapers" jumped on me. For decades Africa has been potrayed as a continent plagued with all kinds of evils from war to disease. I feel that its our responsibility as Africans to change that script.
EMERGING MARKETS REPORT
Investors in Africa seeking undervalued names, diversification
Funds head south of the Sahara as banking and telecom sectors expand
By Polya Lesova, MarketWatch
Last Update: 12:01 AM ET Jun 21, 2007
NEW YORK (MarketWatch) -- Where most investors see a continent plagued by underdevelopment and conflict, others recognize Africa as the next frontier, whose accelerating economic growth and long-term potential are creating compelling investment opportunities."We're convinced that the perceived risk in Africa is greater than the actual risk for disciplined and focused investment," said Thomas Gibian, chief executive of Emerging Capital Partners, which manages more than $1 billion in five private-equity funds focused on African companies."We thrive on diversification -- across regions in Africa, across currencies, across sectors," he said.
After decades of colonialism, violence and poverty, some African countries, particularly those south of the Sahara Desert, are experiencing an economic renaissance, propelled by more than rich deposits of natural resources. The banking and telecom sectors are luring foreign investors, who are now hunting for deals in smaller countries including Ghana, Botswana and Zambia, not just South Africa. Certainly, significant challenges remain, including ongoing conflicts in some countries, corruption and HIV infection.
"Optimism is what separates people today," said Lawrence Speidell, co-manager of the Frontier Market Select Fund, L.P., a $4-million, long-only hedge fund that invests in frontier equity markets, most of them in Africa."If you read the newspaper, you're very worried because a lot of news is bad news," Speidell said. "If you take a step back and you take a look at the patterns that are in place in the world, you'll see that there's a long-term movement of the world toward democracy and peaceful settlement of disputes. "Optimism is one of the four pillars on which Speidell bases his investment philosophy; the others are history, risk, and globalization.
Sub-Saharan Africa posted economic growth of 6% in 2006 and is expected to grow by 6.7% this year, making it one of the fastest-growing regions in the world, according to the International Monetary Fund. In contrast, between 1980 and 1999, the region lagged far behind global growth -- its GDP grew by about 2% on average. China, with its insatiable appetite for commodities, is becoming a key destination for African exports.
"While key oil exporters like Angola, Equatorial Guinea and Nigeria are expected to enjoy some of the fastest growth rates in Africa in 2007, they are not the only countries enjoying rapid economic growth," said John Orford, South Africa-based strategist at UBS Investment Research, in a June research report.
Sub-Saharan Africa posted economic growth of 6% in 2006 and is expected to grow by 6.7% this year, making it one of the fastest-growing regions in the world.
"Indeed about 18 oil importers will enjoy growth rates of 5% or higher in 2007," Orford said. "A number of factors -- better macro management, lower inflation and rising savings and investment rates -- are supporting higher growth across the continent. "Some countries in Africa have made partial progress on implementing economic reforms, specifically when it comes to monetary, regulatory, trade, fiscal and financial policies, Orford said. Barriers remain, however, in areas like property rights, investment freedom and corruption.
Inflation in sub-Saharan Africa, with the exception of Zimbabwe, is forecast to fall to about 7.1% from 7.2% in 2006 and 8.1% in 2005, according to IMF figures quotes by UBS. Investment-to-GDP ratios are still very low, but rising.
External debt has declined and foreign private capital flows are increasing. Net foreign direct investment in sub-Saharan Africa excluding South Africa climbed to $18 billion in 2006.
Attractive sectors
"We have been able to identify many investment opportunities where there are near-monopolistic environments," said Gibian of Emerging Capital Partners, the pan-African private-equity firm.
The companies he invests in "operate with preferential access." For example, if it's a natural resource, the company has the rights to the mineral or energy source that they are developing.
Emerging Capital Partners has made more than 35 investments in 30 African countries. In some deals, the firm takes a controlling position, but as a rule it always acquires a seat on the boards of the companies in which it invests.
"We look at businesses where Africa has historically had a comparative advantage -- in energy businesses, because that's where the oil and gas is, in mining, in agriculture, even in tourism," Gibian said.
One such company is Anvil Mining Ltd. (CA:AVM: news, chart, profile) (AU:AVM: news, chart, profile) , a copper and silver producer that is listed on the Toronto and Australian stock exchanges. The company operates several mines in the Democratic Republic of Congo.
Another example is Artumas Group Inc. (DE:A0J34E: news, chart, profile) (NO:AGI: news, chart, profile) , an energy producer that operates hydrocarbon reserves in Tanzania and Mozambique.
"We also look at businesses where Africa has lagged -- in terms of banking, telecommunications, distribution -- these are not areas where historically Africa has held itself up as an example of efficiency," he said. "Our track record is the most complete in the area of telecommunications and now in the area of financial services and financial institutions," he said.
Among the firm's investments are Celtel International, a mobile telecommunications company; Continental Reinsurance Plc, Nigeria's largest reinsurance company, which was recently listed on the Nigerian Stock Exchange; Intercontinental Bank Plc, the fifth largest banking group in Nigeria; and Ecobank Transnational Inc., one of the largest regional banking groups in sub-Saharan Africa and a company that is listed on stock exchanges in Ivory Coast, Nigeria and Ghana.
"There has been tremendous investment in Africa -- look at Air France, Exxon, Shell, De Beers etc. -- but investment in Africa typically did not create opportunities for emerging markets buyers to take a position," Gibian said. "We are very keen to build companies that deserve to be liquid."
Low liquidity continues to be one of the major problems for investors in Africa's equity markets, with the exception of South Africa, Egypt and partially, Nigeria. The ratio of market capitalization to GDP remains low, while sector composition is also mostly biased toward the financials.
"With the exception of South Africa and Egypt (relatively diverse sector composition) and Côte d'Ivoire (dominated by a single telecommunications stock) financials account for between 40% and 90% of African equity markets," according to UBS's Orford.
South African stocks stand out as the clearest beneficiaries of African growth, he said. UBS's favored picks from South Africa are communications company MTN; the country's largest retail bank ABSA; food retailer Shoprite; and construction firm Group 5.
One way for American investors to invest in South Africa is through the iShares MSCI South Africa Index Fund an exchange-traded fund that tracks the performance of the country's stock market.
Today's prices and tomorrow's liquidity
Speidell looks beyond South Africa in his search for attractive African stocks. As of March 31 this year, the Frontier Market Select Fund owned 18 stocks in 12 countries around the world. Country-weightings include Botswana (10%), Ghana (21%), Nigeria (9%), Malawi (2%), Senegal (8%), Tanzania (5%) and Zambia (5%).
Speidell points out four reasons why he invests in frontier markets.
First, the history of emerging markets is the future of frontier markets, Speidell said. Second, globalization and technology, particularly cell phones and the Internet, are making information available to millions of people in some of the poorest and most remote places in the world. Third is optimism, and the fourth reason is risk. "The reason I say that these countries offer a different kind of risk to a portfolio is because they are different in that they do not move with the other established world markets," Speidell said. "They don't move with New York, London or Tokyo or Russia or China."
Only about 6% of the movement in frontier markets could be considered related to the movement in the S&P 500, Speidell said: "Frontier markets certainly move, but in a way that's so largely independent that they provide wonderful diversification to a global portfolio."
Among Speidell's favorites are the smaller markets in Africa like Ghana, Botswana, and Zambia.
"We're hoping to benefit from the fact that these markets are not well-understood and that there will be undervalued names in almost every market," he said.
"There are local brokers, the companies do publish annual reports," Speidell said. "There are broker services that go out to companies and get the reports; when you have the report, you have market opportunities because the data are not so closely followed that the stocks will only move within a narrow band."
Speidell's fund invests in a variety of sectors, including consumer staples, finance, telecommunications, transportation and construction.
"Liquidity is a problem," Speidell said. "It's not to say that trading is impossible. One needs to be patient to figure that the opportunity here is to get today's prices and tomorrow's liquidity."
Eco-conscious material girl
I am very inspired by her go getter attitude.
By Janice Blackburn
Published: June 8 2007
As a girl, Jenny White decided that her conservative, traditional school needed shaking up, so she launched a student radio station, a newspaper and a gossip magazine and painted murals all over the walls.
After studying graphics at Central Saint Martins, London, she spent four years working as a junior art director but soon tired of the “somewhat safe lifestyle”. So she quit her job to become an environmentally friendly textile designer.
“I wanted to create something new,” she says. “I had become very eco-conscious, eating organic food and using Dr Hauschka’s cosmetics. I also knew that textiles was a horrendously polluting industry and I wanted to find a way to make products that were created with care for the environment. I have always been ambitious and wanted to do something exciting and work for myself.”
She returned to Central Saint Martins, enrolling in a two-year masters course in “textile futures” and her final project involved creating a luxury brand focused on sustainability. Her tutors were supportive but “they didn’t have any business skills or manufacturing experience themselves”, she says. “They were all researchers and artists.”
Undeterred, White signed up for a series of talks called Create A Living, which focused on the importance of writing a business plan and, by the end of her course, she had one. Her brand, Eco-Boudoir – Luxury with a Conscience, would sell textiles and homewares that were not only eco-friendly but also “very personal, very sensual and sexy”.
“I thought: ‘Great. I have the brand concept, I’ve done some research and there is a gap in the market. It’s time to make some products and see if I can sell them’.” She now realises that was beginner’s naivety. Her business plan was passable but it didn’t have the essential “three Ps – product, place and price” right.
So she spent another tough year mastering more skills: pattern cutting, garment costing, manufacturing, price negotiation, accounts, VAT, customs and shipping. At the same time she was also designing a full range of throws and cushions, lingerie and a selection of feminine incidentals, such as eye masks and aromatherapy bags, for the bedroom, inspired intriguingly by her somewhat eclectic interests – burlesque, decadence, ecology and the home environment. She decided to make them out of a luxurious woven fabric she calls “bamboo” (apparently softer and silkier than cashmere), digitally printed silks and laser-etched vegetable-tanned leathers.
She finally launched the Eco-Boudoir range in February at the International Salon de la Lingerie in Paris and the reaction was impressive. Boutiques in New York, Athens, Germany, Scandinavia, Switzerland and the UK (from department store Liberty to boutique Phoebe Carlyle) now stock the wares. More recently White was involved in an exhibition during New York’s International Contemporary Furniture Fair called Haute Green and in August she will show at the Lingerie Americas trade show.
She thinks the extra business training she took on has been key to her success. “Creative brains often work in a different way. You can have the best idea in the world but if it can’t be produced, the price is wrong and you don’t know how or where to sell it you don’t stand a chance. The production process [for example] was a roller- coaster of problems for me but in the end it was the most important aspect of the business that I needed to get a tight rein on.”
There are still problems to resolve. Her collection is very broad, the eco-friendly materials she uses are expensive and the pound is disadvantageously strong against other currencies. Sometimes, White acknowledges, she thinks she might like to have a business partner or investor to share the burden. (“Starting and running your own business is not for the faint-hearted.”) But she also loves her independence and is pleased to have made it so far on her own.
She hopes to set an example for other designers and is full of advice for would-be entreprenuers. “Make sure your idea is valuable, long-lasting, strong, viable and versatile,” she says. “Research your market. There is no point trying to sell something that is already out there. Make sure your prices are right. And keep it simple at first.
Most importantly, “have the determination to see things through. If it doesn’t seem to be working out it doesn’t mean that you can’t develop something else within the same concept and make it work.”
By Janice Blackburn
Published: June 8 2007
As a girl, Jenny White decided that her conservative, traditional school needed shaking up, so she launched a student radio station, a newspaper and a gossip magazine and painted murals all over the walls.
After studying graphics at Central Saint Martins, London, she spent four years working as a junior art director but soon tired of the “somewhat safe lifestyle”. So she quit her job to become an environmentally friendly textile designer.
“I wanted to create something new,” she says. “I had become very eco-conscious, eating organic food and using Dr Hauschka’s cosmetics. I also knew that textiles was a horrendously polluting industry and I wanted to find a way to make products that were created with care for the environment. I have always been ambitious and wanted to do something exciting and work for myself.”
She returned to Central Saint Martins, enrolling in a two-year masters course in “textile futures” and her final project involved creating a luxury brand focused on sustainability. Her tutors were supportive but “they didn’t have any business skills or manufacturing experience themselves”, she says. “They were all researchers and artists.”
Undeterred, White signed up for a series of talks called Create A Living, which focused on the importance of writing a business plan and, by the end of her course, she had one. Her brand, Eco-Boudoir – Luxury with a Conscience, would sell textiles and homewares that were not only eco-friendly but also “very personal, very sensual and sexy”.
“I thought: ‘Great. I have the brand concept, I’ve done some research and there is a gap in the market. It’s time to make some products and see if I can sell them’.” She now realises that was beginner’s naivety. Her business plan was passable but it didn’t have the essential “three Ps – product, place and price” right.
So she spent another tough year mastering more skills: pattern cutting, garment costing, manufacturing, price negotiation, accounts, VAT, customs and shipping. At the same time she was also designing a full range of throws and cushions, lingerie and a selection of feminine incidentals, such as eye masks and aromatherapy bags, for the bedroom, inspired intriguingly by her somewhat eclectic interests – burlesque, decadence, ecology and the home environment. She decided to make them out of a luxurious woven fabric she calls “bamboo” (apparently softer and silkier than cashmere), digitally printed silks and laser-etched vegetable-tanned leathers.
She finally launched the Eco-Boudoir range in February at the International Salon de la Lingerie in Paris and the reaction was impressive. Boutiques in New York, Athens, Germany, Scandinavia, Switzerland and the UK (from department store Liberty to boutique Phoebe Carlyle) now stock the wares. More recently White was involved in an exhibition during New York’s International Contemporary Furniture Fair called Haute Green and in August she will show at the Lingerie Americas trade show.
She thinks the extra business training she took on has been key to her success. “Creative brains often work in a different way. You can have the best idea in the world but if it can’t be produced, the price is wrong and you don’t know how or where to sell it you don’t stand a chance. The production process [for example] was a roller- coaster of problems for me but in the end it was the most important aspect of the business that I needed to get a tight rein on.”
There are still problems to resolve. Her collection is very broad, the eco-friendly materials she uses are expensive and the pound is disadvantageously strong against other currencies. Sometimes, White acknowledges, she thinks she might like to have a business partner or investor to share the burden. (“Starting and running your own business is not for the faint-hearted.”) But she also loves her independence and is pleased to have made it so far on her own.
She hopes to set an example for other designers and is full of advice for would-be entreprenuers. “Make sure your idea is valuable, long-lasting, strong, viable and versatile,” she says. “Research your market. There is no point trying to sell something that is already out there. Make sure your prices are right. And keep it simple at first.
Most importantly, “have the determination to see things through. If it doesn’t seem to be working out it doesn’t mean that you can’t develop something else within the same concept and make it work.”
Processing Vs Flash
I have seen both, I wonder if processing is just a more basic version of actionscript
http://www.processing.org/
Code that creates amazing design...mostly mathematical
Design in numbers aagh! lets leave out the numbers.
Design with color thats more like it...
Processing: Creative Coding and Computational Art
This book is written especially for artists, designers, and other creative professionals and students showing how to use Processing for code art, graphics programming, and computational aesthetics.
http://www.processing.org/
Code that creates amazing design...mostly mathematical
Design in numbers aagh! lets leave out the numbers.
Design with color thats more like it...
Processing: Creative Coding and Computational Art
This book is written especially for artists, designers, and other creative professionals and students showing how to use Processing for code art, graphics programming, and computational aesthetics.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Design give
I found this site, where you can design a T shirt, the designs would then be sold to raise money for social issues. Can your art change the world?
http://www.designgive.com/
http://www.designgive.com/
Monday, June 11, 2007
one.org
African childrens choir perfoming at a one rally.
One.org an organization started by Bono, I am so touched by what they are doing with their celebrity status. If you want to join by going to www.one.org
The ONE Campaign is an effort by Americans to rally Americans – one by one – to fight the emergency of global AIDS and extreme poverty. ONE is students and ministers, punk rockers and NASCAR moms, Americans of all beliefs and every walk of life, united to help make poverty history.
Friday, June 8, 2007
Gender differences
This is long, but really interesting.
"Sizing Up The Sexes" by Christine Gorman
More men than women are left handed; more women than men listen with both ears, men favor the right ear.
Men and women perceive the world in different ways. Men excel at rotating three-dimensional objects in their head. Women prove better at reading emotions of people in photographs. However, there's much overlap.
Women have a double dose of the large "X" chromosome. Men have a single "X" and a short, stumpy "Y". Normal men also are affected by a larger level of testosterone (hormone) while their mothers are in pregnancy.
In men the hypothalamus (small organ near the brain stem) is larger than in most women. When provoked, the hypothalamus heightens rage, thirst, hunger and desire; possibly explaining boys' more rambunctious behavior.
In most women, the corpus callosum is larger. This thick bundle of nerves allows the right half of the brain to communicate with the left. This may help explain women's intuition and ability to read emotional cues. There may be other areas where the woman's brains have more connections then the man's.
This greater communication between sides of the brain may be a distraction when, for example, reading a map. Men are more able to rotate the images in their heads, women tend to need to turn the map around.
For both sexes, the principal language centers of the brain are usually concentrated in the left hemisphere. Because women use both sides of their brain, their appreciation of everyday speech appears to be enhanced by input from various cebral regions, including those that control vision and feelings. Thus girls often begin speaking earlier than boys, enunciate more clearly as tots, and develop a greater vocabulary.
by J Madeleine Nash
Men tend to be far more upset by a lover's sexual infidelity than do women: just imagining their partner in bed with another man sends their heart rate soaring by almost five beats a minute.
Women react more strongly to the threat of emotional infidelity. What women fear most is the loss of their mates' long-term commitment and support.
Larry Crabb, "Men and Women", Zondervan Publishing, Grand Rapids
Men see themselves more as separate individuals, achieving something; women more as persons whose identity is found in relational attachments.
"Instead of attachment, individual achievement rivets the male imagination."
For men, the dominant ideas are: separateness, achievement, entering.
For women, the dominant ideas are: involvement, attachment, invitation. This is symbolized in the sexual relationship, "men feel complete as they strongly enter; women feel enjoyed as they warmly invite."
Masculinity is at its best when men "enter their worlds with a humble but confident intention to do good". Femininity at its best when women "invite people into their worlds to experience the joys of relationships".
Women are focused on the strengthening of relationships, encouraging others, deepening attachments.
Willard F.Harley, Jr., "His Needs, Her Needs", Fleming H. Revell Company, Tarrytown
Man's five most basic needs in marriage:
1. Sexual fulfillment
2. Recreational companionship
3. An attractive spouse
4. Domestic support
5. Admiration
Woman's five most basic needs in marriage:
1. Affection
2. Conversation
3. Honesty and openness
4. Financial support
5. Family commitment
Concerning sexuality: men experience arousal and climax with relative ease; for women it's just the opposite.
THE IRRESITIBLE MAN
1. He meets her need for affection with plenty of hugs and kisses at every opportunity.
2. He meets her need for intimate conversation by talking with her at the feeling level.
3. He meets her need for honesty and openness by looking her in the eye and telling her what he really thinks.
4. He meets her need for financial support by firmly shouldering the responsibility to house, feed, and clothe his family.
5. He meets her need for family commitment by putting his family first. He commits his time and energy to the moral and intellectual development of his children.
THE IRRESITIBLE WOMAN
1. She meets his need for sexual fulfillment by becoming an excellent sexual partner to him.
2. She meets his need for recreational companionship by developing mutual interests with her husband.
3. She meets his need for her attractiveness. She keeps herself physically fit with diet and exercise, and she wears her hair, makeup, and clothes in a way that her husband finds attractive and tasteful.
4. She meets his need for domestic support by creating a home that offers him an atmosphere of peace and quiet.
5. She meets his need for admiration and respect by understanding his value and achievements more than anyone else.
John Gray, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", HarperCollins Publishers, New York
Men value power, competency, efficiency and achievement; looking to prove themselves, develop power and skills. "Their sense of self is defined through their ability to achieve results." More interested in "objects" and "things" rather than people and feelings. Achieving goals is very important - to prove competency. Rarely talk is about his problems unless he needs expert advice. When his wife talks about problems he is quick to offer advice, to solve the problem, to fix it.
Women value love, communication, beauty, relationships. Spend time supporting, nurturing. Sense of self defined through their feelings and the quality of their relationships which are more important than work and technology. Intuitive, anticipating the needs of others. For women the sign of love is to offer help without being asked.
For men, the offer of help suggests he isn't competent, she doesn't trust him to do it himself. "For women, offering advice and construction is an act of love."
Men feel better solving problems. Women feel better talking about problems.
When men are under stress, they tend to want to be alone, to think about how they can solve their problem. When a women is stressed, she wants to talk it out; talking about the problems causes her to feel better.
When a woman talks to a man about her problems he feels she is holding him responsible. When a man doesn't talk about his problems his wife feels he is ignoring or rejecting her.
Men need to know they are needed. Women need to know they are cherished.
Women express feelings, men communicate information.
Men need trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement.
Women need caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance.
Men typically handle arguments with "Fight" and "Flight" - intimidation or become silent; women with "Fake" and "Fold" - pretend there's no problem, or take all the responsibility for it.
Men think they score big points with big gifts; women score all gifts the same.
Women intuitively feel the needs of others and expect men to do the same.
"Sizing Up The Sexes" by Christine Gorman
More men than women are left handed; more women than men listen with both ears, men favor the right ear.
Men and women perceive the world in different ways. Men excel at rotating three-dimensional objects in their head. Women prove better at reading emotions of people in photographs. However, there's much overlap.
Women have a double dose of the large "X" chromosome. Men have a single "X" and a short, stumpy "Y". Normal men also are affected by a larger level of testosterone (hormone) while their mothers are in pregnancy.
In men the hypothalamus (small organ near the brain stem) is larger than in most women. When provoked, the hypothalamus heightens rage, thirst, hunger and desire; possibly explaining boys' more rambunctious behavior.
In most women, the corpus callosum is larger. This thick bundle of nerves allows the right half of the brain to communicate with the left. This may help explain women's intuition and ability to read emotional cues. There may be other areas where the woman's brains have more connections then the man's.
This greater communication between sides of the brain may be a distraction when, for example, reading a map. Men are more able to rotate the images in their heads, women tend to need to turn the map around.
For both sexes, the principal language centers of the brain are usually concentrated in the left hemisphere. Because women use both sides of their brain, their appreciation of everyday speech appears to be enhanced by input from various cebral regions, including those that control vision and feelings. Thus girls often begin speaking earlier than boys, enunciate more clearly as tots, and develop a greater vocabulary.
by J Madeleine Nash
Men tend to be far more upset by a lover's sexual infidelity than do women: just imagining their partner in bed with another man sends their heart rate soaring by almost five beats a minute.
Women react more strongly to the threat of emotional infidelity. What women fear most is the loss of their mates' long-term commitment and support.
Larry Crabb, "Men and Women", Zondervan Publishing, Grand Rapids
Men see themselves more as separate individuals, achieving something; women more as persons whose identity is found in relational attachments.
"Instead of attachment, individual achievement rivets the male imagination."
For men, the dominant ideas are: separateness, achievement, entering.
For women, the dominant ideas are: involvement, attachment, invitation. This is symbolized in the sexual relationship, "men feel complete as they strongly enter; women feel enjoyed as they warmly invite."
Masculinity is at its best when men "enter their worlds with a humble but confident intention to do good". Femininity at its best when women "invite people into their worlds to experience the joys of relationships".
Women are focused on the strengthening of relationships, encouraging others, deepening attachments.
Willard F.Harley, Jr., "His Needs, Her Needs", Fleming H. Revell Company, Tarrytown
Man's five most basic needs in marriage:
1. Sexual fulfillment
2. Recreational companionship
3. An attractive spouse
4. Domestic support
5. Admiration
Woman's five most basic needs in marriage:
1. Affection
2. Conversation
3. Honesty and openness
4. Financial support
5. Family commitment
Concerning sexuality: men experience arousal and climax with relative ease; for women it's just the opposite.
THE IRRESITIBLE MAN
1. He meets her need for affection with plenty of hugs and kisses at every opportunity.
2. He meets her need for intimate conversation by talking with her at the feeling level.
3. He meets her need for honesty and openness by looking her in the eye and telling her what he really thinks.
4. He meets her need for financial support by firmly shouldering the responsibility to house, feed, and clothe his family.
5. He meets her need for family commitment by putting his family first. He commits his time and energy to the moral and intellectual development of his children.
THE IRRESITIBLE WOMAN
1. She meets his need for sexual fulfillment by becoming an excellent sexual partner to him.
2. She meets his need for recreational companionship by developing mutual interests with her husband.
3. She meets his need for her attractiveness. She keeps herself physically fit with diet and exercise, and she wears her hair, makeup, and clothes in a way that her husband finds attractive and tasteful.
4. She meets his need for domestic support by creating a home that offers him an atmosphere of peace and quiet.
5. She meets his need for admiration and respect by understanding his value and achievements more than anyone else.
John Gray, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", HarperCollins Publishers, New York
Men value power, competency, efficiency and achievement; looking to prove themselves, develop power and skills. "Their sense of self is defined through their ability to achieve results." More interested in "objects" and "things" rather than people and feelings. Achieving goals is very important - to prove competency. Rarely talk is about his problems unless he needs expert advice. When his wife talks about problems he is quick to offer advice, to solve the problem, to fix it.
Women value love, communication, beauty, relationships. Spend time supporting, nurturing. Sense of self defined through their feelings and the quality of their relationships which are more important than work and technology. Intuitive, anticipating the needs of others. For women the sign of love is to offer help without being asked.
For men, the offer of help suggests he isn't competent, she doesn't trust him to do it himself. "For women, offering advice and construction is an act of love."
Men feel better solving problems. Women feel better talking about problems.
When men are under stress, they tend to want to be alone, to think about how they can solve their problem. When a women is stressed, she wants to talk it out; talking about the problems causes her to feel better.
When a woman talks to a man about her problems he feels she is holding him responsible. When a man doesn't talk about his problems his wife feels he is ignoring or rejecting her.
Men need to know they are needed. Women need to know they are cherished.
Women express feelings, men communicate information.
Men need trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement.
Women need caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance.
Men typically handle arguments with "Fight" and "Flight" - intimidation or become silent; women with "Fake" and "Fold" - pretend there's no problem, or take all the responsibility for it.
Men think they score big points with big gifts; women score all gifts the same.
Women intuitively feel the needs of others and expect men to do the same.
Jokes aside
All jokes aside yes I am a woman who is maturing, spiritually, emotionally and intellectually, I feel that its important to arm myself with information regarding matters of the heart. No more forgoing through this with a naive attitude. So I am embarking on my guerrila research, its a darn complicated matter.
Someone shared this joke with me the other day, I will try to do it justice.
A man was praying relentlessly for different things, was listening, in response he asked the man, to be specific. He told him that he would grant him answers to two requests. The man thought long and hard and since he was an civil engineer he asked God to show him how to build a bridge from San Francisco to Hawaii, God turned around and asked him are you crazy, that is a very complicated task and it would take too much, so whats your second request, the man said o.k then give me wisdom to understand women,
God looked at him and asked him, how many lanes. LOL
Someone shared this joke with me the other day, I will try to do it justice.
A man was praying relentlessly for different things, was listening, in response he asked the man, to be specific. He told him that he would grant him answers to two requests. The man thought long and hard and since he was an civil engineer he asked God to show him how to build a bridge from San Francisco to Hawaii, God turned around and asked him are you crazy, that is a very complicated task and it would take too much, so whats your second request, the man said o.k then give me wisdom to understand women,
God looked at him and asked him, how many lanes. LOL
The girlfriend test
Now it would not be fair to just have a female oriented book. So guys dont despair there is also a girlfriend test LOL. I wonder if guys really read this one.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Friends with potential
I am taking a short detour, after all there is more to my life besides design.
O.k this is hilarious but how do you really know, the person you are talking to is interested in you for who you are. I went looking and found this book LOL YEAAAHHH!
the boyfriend test! I am not buying it, but I am reallly curious.
I also found 365 questions to ask a potential BF. Who knew.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)